Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
