Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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