there was a trapeze. enough said
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
