Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
