Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Randomize
