They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
