Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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