Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
