I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
tell me about the eggs
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
