I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
