Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
