Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
