Pappa wants mamma naked
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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