Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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