Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Randomize
