i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
