Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
