Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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