Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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