i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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