she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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