I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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