When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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