i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
