Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
im having a threesome with these popsicles
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize