She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
