Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
