I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
