Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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