Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
