I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
