i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
