not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
