Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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