Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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