sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
