I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
