is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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