Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
