awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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