I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
