I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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