yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
