sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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