I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
