If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize