I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
