you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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