suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
porn star boner night. come get it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When did angry sex become our thing?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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