Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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