just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
