if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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