Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
