Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
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I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
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His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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