In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize