i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
