you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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