party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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