i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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