he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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