I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
