i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
