Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
