VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
