Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
