I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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