i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
