You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
