i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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