worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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